Tried and True

I am not certain about many things, except that my patented method for taking off mascara works, and it works every time.* On any given day, I’m usually about two swipes away from having Tammy Faye eyes, so trust me, I know about mascara removal. It’s cheap, quick and simple. I’m not sure if it works as well for eyeliner and/or eyeshadow, but I don’t see why it wouldn’t.

1) Splash a little lukewarm water on your eyes. Let the water work its magic on your lashes for a minute or so. Trust me, do not skip this step. Use your waiting time to floss or take a magazine quiz or try for the fiftieth time to pluck that one witchy chin hair that you always find yourself flicking with your thumb when you watch television.

2) Smear a fingertip-ful of coconut oil** over your eyelids and lashes.

3) Gently wipe coconut oil and makeup off with a cotton ball, tissue or cloth. Note the lack of lashes on the cotton ball/tissue/cloth.


4) Proceed with your normal face washing routine.

*Except if you’re wearing waterproof mascara. And if you are, lord help you. That sh*t sticks.

**I used to use that eye makeup remover that comes in a little purpley bottle and costs $5. But then I switched to the considerably cheaper (and healthier? maybe?) coconut oil, and I’ve never wanted to turn back. Coconut oil works just as well, if not a bit better.

Christiane is a mother and a graduate student living in Indiana.

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