Gwynnie, Gwyneth, the Goopertrooper. We are close. I will also defend Gwyneth’s emerging lifestyle brand and groundbreaking newsletter/blog Goop until my dying breath.
It is hard, however, to love such a despised figure. So here is some ammunition for defending your excitement when Goop lands in your inbox every Thursday.
1. Gwynnie is the original mommy blogger, style blogger, here-are-some-photos-of-my-breakfast sharer. The feminine performance of the self is now defined in part by this green juice bragging and “I drink wine during the afternoon nap” confessional culture, and Goop deserves major credit for this development. I haven’t done a careful chronological study, but someone should.
2. One of my favorite innovations of the last ten years is the “Stars, they’re just like us” feature in US Weekly. But Gwynnie resists the fallacy that celebrities pump gas just like us and instead gives us access to world that is fully alien: the world of super fancy people. She applies the method of obsessive chronicling of routines, shopping hauls, and diet regimes to a life that is truly glamorous. Sure we see a lot of sausage getting made in The Real Housewives, but the very fact that they need to be on the show to afford their Hamptons rental means they aren’t truly glamorous. Gwynnie combines the intimacy of the mommy blog with the other worldliness of the un-relatable old fashioned celebrity. We can’t afford her cashmere throw that makes her first class flight to LA bearable, and that is the point.
3. Gwyneth is the Mormons of the lifestyle gurus. Unlike Oprah who repents for her past slip-ups evangelical style (and is reborn again and again and again into new diets and dogmas), Gwyneth simply gets a new revelation. She used to be macrobiotic, and then she was interested in “indulgence” (see the first cookbook), and is now into elimination diets (see the new cookbook), but none of these updates requires renunciation of the former position. She was never wrong, she just hadn’t received the most up to date revelation yet. As her audience we anticipate her new revelations, rather than lose faith when her advice is contradictory.
Dana is a graduate student and nanny living in Brooklyn.