You Are Not Cool Enough to Dress Yourself

For all our 18 year old readers just shelve this for ten years from now, but for the 25 and up set, please accept that you are no longer capable of anticipating or creating trends. But do not worry! There is now a perfectly easy solution to this problem. It is called Zara.


For many years I thought that I could deal with my aging and lack of funky fresh young person style by relying on a few brands to see me through: Madewell, J.Crew, and Anthropologie. I was wrong. These clothes don’t look cool on women who are not 18, they look square or worse . . . boring. But recently I have discovered that the behemoth that is slowly killing our ozone layer and quickly devastating developing nations has anticipated our problem. They have taken the coolest trends that women who can shop at Bird and Need Supply Co. will be wearing this fall and made them dirt ass cheap. So all you need to do is buy three separates from Zara each season and you will look like the kind of hip lady who possibly has both health insurance and an up to date music collection (rather than a podcast subscription to All Song Considered).


However, here are 3 rules you must absolutely follow:

1. Don’t buy anything they make that is %100 polyester

2. Wait for the sales (it cost them 2 cents to make it, why should I spend more than $30?)

3. Remember, you clothes might be hip and cheap, but your shoes should always be orthopedic and expensive (we have after all, learned something from all these years of experience). I’m talking a nice clean pair of black danskos.

Fortunately other comfortable shoes are also kind of in style (I learned this from Need Supply Co. of course. What, you think I can figure these things out on my own?):


One thought on “You Are Not Cool Enough to Dress Yourself

  1. Pingback: Fall Uniform | ladies of habit

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