Shoe Money Tonight

For the monstrously proportioned, the world of footwear has thankfully become a much kinder place with the advent of online shopping. Finding a size 14 no longer poses much of a challenge. May heaven smile upon my poor mother, who had to DRIVE my equally gangly brother and me to shoe stores in the hopes of finding SOMETHING above a size 12.

It’s gotten to the point where I can even make some sartorial choices. The challenge now rests in finding items that hit the middle of the Venn diagram composed of “graduate student instructor,” “semi-cool young-but-not-too-young guy,” and “not insanely pricey. “

My current fallback is Puma sneakers in notable but (hopefully) not garish colors. Comfy as hell (important for walking about campus), they look pretty good with jeans. Plus—as Nathan Lane rightly reminds us in The Bird Cage—one does want a hint of color.


What’s that? The two green ones look similar? That’s because I wore the lighter ones down to the nub, and bought a second pair on eBay, god help me, because Puma no longer makes the RS1. Sadly its replacement, the RS100, looks like something Daft Punk threw up.


About a year ago W helped me pick out a pair of Florsheim oxfords. They’re suede and therefore less practical in snowy/rainy seasons, but a student last summer requested that I wear “the blue shoes” for the last day of class and I nearly swooned. Dress em up, dress em down, but per Elvis don’t step on em.


More recently D revealed the Thom Browne look, matching seemingly shrunken suits with brogues and ankle boots. Oh and apparently if you’re going brogue, the sock is not to be showing.


Given that all pants want to go highwater on me anyway, maybe this is the next step.


-J. a very tall man of habit.

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