It is time for my summer holiday, and I am going to LA for a long weekend to stay with a friend.

My travel rules for vacations:

Bring nothing, buy everything.



This amazing Patagonia luggage can have nothing or everything inside its magical compartments. It also has backpack straps.


I did bring my running shoes so I can hike up that hill that celebrities get their photos taken on.


Although it appears you can do it in clogs.

But I also plan on utilizing my time in Silverlake and taking this class:

A few other plans: try to buy this week’s US Weekly and last week’s in the airport, buy all the expensive airport food and don’t worry about it, put about a half lb. of duty-free designer hand lotion on my legs.

In LA, I plan on eating every taco in every food truck that GOOP suggested.

Finally, my travel outfit.


I did it. I bought Birkenstocks. It is actually your fault and not mine. No one gave me enough points for not buying them, so I decided to go all in and get the loudest color available.



Revlon Lip Butters

My parents often tell the ur-me story, which is also a makeup story: I was 5 or 6 and I saw Too Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar (the one with Wesley Snipes in drag). Upon leaving the theater I said, “I can never be a drag queen, can I?” and they said “no, sweetheart, you can’t.”

The facts of this story are a bit fuzzy. I think it was Priscilla Queen of the Desert not Too Wong Foo because Priscilla is a much better movie and certainly left more of an impression on me.

I have recently realized that my parents’ response was both a parenting fail and a misreading of the film. Because really I was just rhetorically asking, “I can never glop pancake makeup on my face, listen to disco and wear a dress made out of flipflops without people being major jerks to me, can I?” And the real answer is, of course I can. I just have to not care about people being jerks! Which was the whole point of Priscilla anyway.

Now that I have embraced my latent desire for makeup I do crazy things like wear red lipstick even though my lips are never in good enough condition for a matte formulation. But in between these daring feats I have found a lipstick so easy to wear, so foolproof (as the beauty youtubers say), that you can put it on without a mirror. It is the Revlon LipButters. This lipstick even moisturizes my lips so that they are better prepared for the matte red lipstick that I draw outside the lines of my lips, because hell . . . my mouth can be any shape I want it to be. The Revlon LipButters are also often on two for one at your local drugstore.

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You could say that the colors I have are pink, coral and brown/pink.

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But that would be an insult to the powerful work of names!

From left to right: Peach Parfait, Berry Smoothie, and Pink Truffle.


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They are so demure, even Bernie would wear them.


Grown Ass Lady Bag Haul

C. has been inspiring envy ever since she showed off her spectacular tote, but when LOH-D.’s mom rolled into town demonstrating the grown ass lady purse lifestyle, I decided to get serious about my bag problem. Also my mom bought me a purse.

First my mom’s exemplary purse skills:

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But then, she took her purse game up a notch and bought a clutch. I bet you don’t have a clutch, but someday you will and you will go to weddings and dinners without a giant bag.


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But on to MY bag. It is a salmon leather bucket tote from Kate Spade Saturday, on sale on course.

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And now, some Cinema Verite, but for purses:

Also, the “What’s In My Bag?” feature in US Weekly is an important and revealing portrait of modern life:

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Fashion Haul

Hoof Shodding Alternation

My summer sandal search was highly successful. The Corso Como Talia Studded Sandal is great, comfortable, doesn’t make ankles look fat.


They don’t sell it anymore but this style from Corso Como is almost exactly the same.

The only problem is I put about 3-4 miles on these feet a day, and despite the excellent comfort these sandals have provided, they are going to disappear from my feet by the end of the summer. These sandals are well made enough that I can have the cobbler replace the sole and add more tread, but the only real solution is to not wear them every day.

So I need an alternate in order to slow down the inevitable sandal decay.

This next choice is a bit less classic, a little more cloddish, but cloddish is IN right now.

Behold the Kork-ease 1 and 1/2 ”


Really, I just want credit for not buying Birkenstocks because they are super trendy in New York right now. You cannot throw an iced coffee without hitting a lady in all white Birkenstocks with really long skinny legs. I just want points for not falling for this fallacy. Please give me all my points now!



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