My parents often tell the ur-me story, which is also a makeup story: I was 5 or 6 and I saw Too Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar (the one with Wesley Snipes in drag). Upon leaving the theater I said, “I can never be a drag queen, can I?” and they said “no, sweetheart, you can’t.”
The facts of this story are a bit fuzzy. I think it was Priscilla Queen of the Desert not Too Wong Foo because Priscilla is a much better movie and certainly left more of an impression on me.
I have recently realized that my parents’ response was both a parenting fail and a misreading of the film. Because really I was just rhetorically asking, “I can never glop pancake makeup on my face, listen to disco and wear a dress made out of flipflops without people being major jerks to me, can I?” And the real answer is, of course I can. I just have to not care about people being jerks! Which was the whole point of Priscilla anyway.
Now that I have embraced my latent desire for makeup I do crazy things like wear red lipstick even though my lips are never in good enough condition for a matte formulation. But in between these daring feats I have found a lipstick so easy to wear, so foolproof (as the beauty youtubers say), that you can put it on without a mirror. It is the Revlon LipButters. This lipstick even moisturizes my lips so that they are better prepared for the matte red lipstick that I draw outside the lines of my lips, because hell . . . my mouth can be any shape I want it to be. The Revlon LipButters are also often on two for one at your local drugstore.
You could say that the colors I have are pink, coral and brown/pink.
But that would be an insult to the powerful work of names!
From left to right: Peach Parfait, Berry Smoothie, and Pink Truffle.
They are so demure, even Bernie would wear them.