My excitement over my birthday is unseemly. I really look forward to it, or more specifically the presents. As an adult this is wrong, I know, but so what. I love stuff. I love when other people give me stuff. I love making epic lists of stuff and then buying it for myself on this one day of the year. I love to invite nobody to this occasion, take myself to a fancy spinning class and then eat a whole cake. Or three different kinds of cake and two different kinds of pie and then go to the movies and then go to a massage. I’m a birthday monster and other humans just get in the way.
So this year is my 30th birthday and I am planning on going all out. Here is all the stuff I will buy for myself: