Relaxing: A Guide

One fundamental tenet of my whole life-system is that working at a steady and regular pace is the only way I can survive. But then there are times when an epic vortex of deadlines messes up my rigid schedule of 30 minutes of writing in the morning, never working on weekends, and only working on two projects at a time. This is what happened over the the Christmas/New Years holiday for me. Not to mention family stuff.

Anyways, I am cooked. I am exhausted. And now I have to go on holiday. Unfortunately I don’t have any money so I will be spending this holiday at home. Let the unfortunately named “stay-cation” commence! After a tsunami of work, it is actually difficult to enter relaxation mode (which I would like to clarify is never hard for me in normal life ’cause YouTube and TV, duh). So, like all ladies of habit I think I need a list to ground me.

1. Media–I have planned this vacation perfectly because just as I am beginning my vacation ALL THE TV IS COMING BACK! The Good Wife, Girls, Silicon Valley.

Also, it is my most sacred time of the year: Awards Season! I am making a list of all the movies I haven’t seen that are up for awards (it is critical to realize that this is not the same thing as the best movies of the year), and I am knocking them off day by day. Nightcrawler, Foxcatcher, Still Alice, Cake and Selma, I will see them all. But even I cannot bring myself to see Unbroken, so that will be my Warhorse of 2014. Finally I have also timed my vacation perfectly for the NFL post-season! I know, I’m a bundle of contradictions.

2. Cleaning. I know this is sad. But I actually won’t be able to enjoy my home until I give the whole thing a complete cleaning. Maybe I’ll even buy some Meyer’s cleaning spray in a fun new scent like “Rosemary.”

3. Cooking. One of the things I am looking forward to most is doing everything really inefficiently. First I will dwaddle around reading recipes in the Ottolenghi cookbook I got from C., then I will amble around the grocery store comparing prices, then I will cook these new recipes while listening to podcasts. THIS WILL TAKE HOURS. I will also exercise a lot, but go to fitness classes that are really far away and walk very very slowly home (bonus = more podcast time).

Finally, once this is all done, once I have reached a true state of relaxation, I might call and write back all the friends and family who I have completely ignored. At this point it might even cause me joy instead of anxiety to think about this task.


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