Conquering Spaghetti Squash

Living without pasta seems to be the way modern women demonstrate their commitment to Happiness, Truth, and Wellness.

I do not want to participate in the hegemony of zucchini noodles, because zucchini are a useless vegetable unless you are frying them in croquettes. Buuuut, I would like to promote spaghetti squash as a vegetable worthy of pasta like treatment.

I struggled with spaghetti squash. It is not as flavorful as butternut squash, it is watery, the texture looks like angel hair pasta, but is really a bit crunchy. But, I have finally figured out the crucial step: sauteing the “spaghetti” in butter!

Recipe: Spaghetti Squash with Butter and Shrimp

Feeds two people, or one really gluttonous person.

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Bake one spaghetti squash, cut in half, with seeds scooped out, and a thin layer of oil on its “meaty” side, at 425 for about 45 min.

With a fork, scrape the “noodles” out of the cooked squash and put them in a dishtowel lined with paper towels.

Squeeze the liquid out of the spaghetti squash.

Saute’ the spaghetti squash in a couple of tablespoons of butter, season with lots of salt and pepper.

Put in large pasta bowl, top with lots of Parmigiano-Reggiano and chopped parsley.

Saute’ a half pound of cleaned/deveined shrimp in a bit of oil and butter (in the same pan that yous used for the spaghetti squash). Cook until pink, squeeze half a lemon over the shrimp, season and pour on top of spaghetti squash in bowl.

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This is totally delicious, and you accidentally eat an entire squash. That has to be a good thing.

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-D

The Duff is the Best Highschool Comedy Since The Breakfast Club

It is better than excellent recent contributions to the genre: Mean Girls, Easy A, The To Do List, the tv show Awkward.

It is better than the nineties and early aughts contributions: 10 Things I Hate About You, She’s All That, How to Deal.

It is not better than Clueless, nothing is better than Clueless.

But here is why it is a genuine new classic of this genre, a genre that I care about deeply.

Playing with the old Breakfast Club framework that nobody in highschool is only their label (and yet, is still kind of their label), the Duff explores the new landscape of types that define high school life. It is familiar, but different, and the fact that I (as an old person) can’t really locate myself in this environment seems like proof of its freshness. But the real strength is that all of these types transcend caricature in the Duff. Even the mean girl is not mean because she is evil, she is mean because she is so narcissistic that anyone garnering attention messes up the future of her Brand.

But you don’t come to these movies for their authentic approach to technology and adolescent social dynamics, you come to these movies for their ability to make you squeel, laugh, and cheer. I saw this movie in a theater full of Brooklyn tweens and I can attest that I was not the only one audibly squeeling, laughing and cheering. The audience of tweens literally clapped at one point.

This is because the romance at the center of the movie actually has chemistry. Mae Whitman and the Hunk spar like they are in the Gilmore Girls. The Hunk is stupid (cause he’s a jock), but not dumb. And the reasons they can’t get together until the end are not because of missed connections, revelations of cruel pranks, or the jock being embarrassed of the duff. They about actual limitations of these people’s personalities. Adult romantic comedies could learn a thing or two from The Duff.
This movie also does not loose its dignity in the third act (also known as the Prom in highschool comedy vocabulary). Justice wins, but not at the expense of feminism.

-D.

No Solutions, Just Questions

I still am uninspired by my clothes. I came up with one viable solution and then the weather changed and it all is useless.

I only wore four items all winter:

My fuzzy coat (sadly now out of stock), easily the best purchase of the past two years.

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Black Uniqlo jeans, and my L.L. Bean boots. This was it.

But as I try to put together a vision for spring, can we all be honest about something? It costs money to look good! Even for my humble winter outfit it cost about $200.

So what is a reasonable budget for a season of clothes? I realize that women who make $100,000 a year or more might actually be able to spend $1,000 a season on clothes. And I applaud those women. But how do normal women make these decisions?

For instance, I already had to buy my annual running shoe purchase ($100), these are actually pretty great and I will probably wear them for normals, not just for exercise.

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But to achieve my spring vision, inspired by several torso-less photos, I will need a few things.

First torso-less image.

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Second torso-less image.

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It says a lot about me that I can’t imagine myself from the waist up.

Categories of things to buy:

Pants, one pair of black jeans ($60).

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One pair of culottes ($160), BTW everything at this store fulfills your Eileen Fisher fantasies.

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Next, tops (something more lightweight to replace my winter fuzzy cardigan/coat):

Long coat/sweater $150

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Blazer $40

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Now shoes. Part of the problem is that I never bought the Everlane loafers because they were out of stock when I had the money.

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But, in their absence I still don’t have a perfect throw on with jeans or something more professional leather shoe. It doesn’t have to be complete flat, but I want to to show a fair amount of ankle skin because, see torso-less photo above.

Also, in the mean time I have been transfixed with shoes that are missing part of their shoe.

So, one of these options, is what I am thinking. Clockwise ($118), ($168), ($148), or the original Everlane lust objects ($165),

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or the actual shoe in the excellent ankle shot ($139)

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But if I chose just one of these shoes, one pant, one coat, and take into consideration the sneakers, and the gorgeous but totally expensive bridesmaid dress I have to buy,

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That would total something like $500-600!

In the face of all these decisions I am paralyzed. I CANT BELIEVE HOW MUCH I THINK ABOUT THIS!

Please help.

-D

Anatomy of a Lady Retreat

As per C.’s request, here is a summary of my recent lady writing retreat. This is basically me bragging about the best week ever.

Arrive Sunday night at vacation home in Maine.

Monday – Friday

7:30am Breakfast, discuss hopes and dreams for today’s work, there was no internet so all email checking had to be done on phones (which really limits email checking)

8:00 SET THE TONE by starting a 30 minute writing session (all tone violators were lovingly but firmly shamed)

8:30 break for chocolate and coffee

8:45 two more writing sessions/coffee breaks

(personal breaks for showering and makeup by discretion)

12:00 Lunch at local coffee shop, explain our work to each other

12:00 -4:00 work at coffee shop using internet

4:30 ZUMBA!!!!!

6:00 Each lady takes turn making dinner, discuss the state of pornography, literature, hair, and STUFF

minimal drinking, early bedtime

REPEAT

Friday Night: GET REALLY DRUNK AND WATCH THE KEVIN COSTNER ROBIN HOOD.

Go home Saturday.

May you all get to go on such a lovely retreat someday.

-D.

Seeing Stones

We ladies of habit are also nerds, and thus we deal with our eye degeneration the old fashioned way: glasses. One of my greatest ambitions is to own more than one pair of glasses at the same time, thus achieving adult-level accessorizing potential.

My last glasses were pretty good: vintage Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses with normal lenses in them.

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But I like my feminine Bonlook frames even more with my butch haircut:

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Because almost all Warby Parker glasses look like poop on me, I think I might try my hand at another Bonlook pair:

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This “Jack and Norma” frame has the added benefit of meeting my Ingrid Michaelson fantasy.

These also seem to follow the tried and true logic of my last frames: bigger is better. I can’t ever go back to small glasses. Stop trying to pretend you aren’t putting something on your face. This is an opportunity to put a GIANT thing on your face.

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Also, as Kerry (a friend of the blog) recently pointed out. Bonlook/Warbyparker glasses cost $100. That is the amount of money we spend on shoes we never wear, ergo we should stop buying shoes and start buying more glasses!

-D.

P.S. Sorry for my long absence. Was on a very ladies of habit-y women’s writing retreat and a mother daughter vacation.

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