They Knew Exactly What We Wanted

I understand Far from the Madding Crowd to be my reward for having sat through Age of Ultron, Jupiter Ascending, the most recent incredibly boring season of Downton Abbey, and all the self-important Oscar movies.

Anatomy of a movie made for ladies of habit:

1. Sheperd love interest–solid, dependable, wears a sweaty bandana around his sunburned neck, stands very close to leading lady but cannot kiss her because he has too much pride, knows A LOT about sheep.

2. Hay porn–lots and lots of hay, stacked beautifully. Sometimes interspersed with fern porn. Bright green ferns in mist.

3. Inexplicably Slavic-esque gingham wardrobe. Tailored into traveling suits, day dresses, and layered with asymmetrical shooting capes.

Make ten more of these films please. So that I might watch them while I wait for Outlander to air every Saturday.

–D.

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