Off the Couch, Into the Office

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In an adjacent dressing room at Ann Taylor Loft, I heard a woman say to her friend “that looks fine, get it, you will probably get a lot of use out of it.” Her “fine” looking friend sighed loudly.

Ann Taylor Loft, the cheaper version of Ann Taylor, is the true battleground of modern feminism. Where young women who make less that $40,000 a year buy clothes that will allow them to do their white collar jobs and remain invisible. These are the kind of clothes that you scan over and unconsciously register as “appropriate.” No detail draws your eye. No color offends your taste. The stretchy cotton slacks and shells neatly tuck away protruding parts. Have you ever woken up in the morning and said to yourself, “gee, I can’t wait to put on a shell”? Neither have the customers of Ann Taylor Loft, but they sigh and buy that shell anyway.

The plum pants (or slacks) above are from Ann Taylor Loft. I am not immune to the Loft’s utility. But the struggle to become effectively invisible in lady work wear makes my soul hurt.

Now that I have to dress like an inoffensive lady worker, I have totally reworked my wardrobe. I haven’t even worn a denim on denim shorts/shirt combo in a month because on the weekends I can’t peel my sweatpants off my body. Work wear depletes you of your will to look hip and reduces you to the constant hunt for blouses and blazers under $50 that allow you to avoid as much ironing and drycleaning as possible.

Here are my most invisible outfits:

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The only defense I have of these outfits is that I bravely replaced black slacks with black skinny jeans. I am such a rebel!

Here are my proudest moments. My refusals of invisibility:

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Jcrew Regent Linen Blazer, Jcrew wool pants, Everlane Loafers, Uniqlo Silk shirt

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Uniqlo jeans, Ash booties

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My Jcrew Jumpsuit. The best purchase I ever made. And yes, that is a bold red lip.

I defy you Ann Taylor Loft! I will pair my plum slacks with my teal blazer and confuse my coworkers with my frightening visibility. Or I might just give up and go back to the silk blouse, black pants combo. Sigh.

-D

TV Anxiety

Welcome to the tricky time of year where all of your work clothes are too heavy for 90 degree weather and it is a full month before Homeland and The Good Wife return. That’s right, you have nothing to watch until October 9th. Here are my suggestions for coping. First get yourself a free trial month of Amazon Prime (next to the return of the Good Wife in your calender put “cancel Amazon Prime”), then catch up on some TV that you might have heard good things about but never got around to watching. My suggestions:

  1. The Americans–it actually took me a little time to get into this show. There is a grimness to the 1980s setting that repelled me a little. But by season two I was totally hooked and this has quickly risen into my top 10 favorite shows of all time. Felicity forever!
  2. Hannibal–I tentatively suggested this show before, and now that I have seen every episode (the final episode for the whole series aired last week), I can confirm that this show is also one of my all-time favorites. The homoerotic relationship of Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelson will fuel my dreams for years to come. Once again the gore is indefensible, so I take no responsibility for your trauma.HANNIBAL --
  3. Mr. Robot. Beautiful, not-boring, and at moments genuinely clever about the state of society. The show is derivative and it knows it. Its homages to things like Fight Club and Hackers are no secret. But I love Fight Club and Hackers so I appreciate these references.
  4. The White Queen. This is not a good show. This is a delicious treat for the soft-core porn, brocade, and sword-swinging lover inside of you. If you saw the most recent Mission Impossible and you were blown away by the lady lead, get excited because she is the “White Queen.” Also, the Starz intro at the beginning of every episode will make you think you are about to watch Outlander. “Sing me a song of a lass who is gone, say may that lass be I . . . ” Tear. Sometimes I think this blog should just transition into an Outlander tumblr.

-D

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