The Next Frontier

When I started this blog I had finally learned some basic makeup skills and the gospel of Everlane. I feel like I have lady self-presentation pretty much down. Except for washing my hair or styling my hair, because . . . ugh. I leave that challenge for another day.

Because of my natural affinity for cooking and a compulsive need to put things in their proper place, I’ve never felt much anxiety about my domestic cred. But I now realize I’ve left an entire category of lady skillz unstudied: it is time to tackle INTERIOR DESIGN!

Much like clothes and makeup, this skill requires capital. I now have some capital, so let’s furnish!


My first principle is to use as little Ikea as possible. The plant stand and the coffee table are from Ikea, BUT the coffee table is actually one of the bedside tables until I find the mid-century modern coffee table of my dreams. St. Louis is basically the mid-century modern antique capital so this is totally doable. Ikea is The Land of Compromise. Don’t give in! I have decided to simply live without basic essentials rather than acquire more Ikea. The couch and the chair are West Elm on sale. West Elm is like Everlane: it gives confidence to the aesthetically challenged. The end tables are from a local antique mall.

Because I am new to this, I followed my basic bitch principle: do not try to be an individual. So I asked the internet, “what do basic bitches use for decor?” and the internet told me “succulents.”


These cost $2 and are decor gold. The Ikea plant stand is the Everlane Oxford shoe of interior decor, everyone should own it. Apparently basic bitches also buy these weird framed quotes to hang on the wall that say things like:


But I have enough self-respect to leave well enough alone. I will have bare walls until I figure out a way to decorate them without inspirational calligraphy.

My next principle is  to GO SLOW. If I can’t afford a dresser or book shelves, just don’t have them! I sent every single book I own to my new office (see, capital of every kind is essential to home decorating), and got one of those hanging closet organizers to replace the dresser. I feel like it goes unsaid that I already Kondo’d all my stuff before moving in. Duh.

So my bedroom looks like American Psycho.

The kitchen doesn’t need decor, so that’s a relief. But the dining room table is also Ikea. So really, I guess half of my stuff is Ikea. Le sigh. Also, I’m experimenting with buying flowers for myself. And I think I really like it.


Any suggestions are welcome!


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